House of Legacy of Kain
by Angel Pasta n' sushi
Summary: With the Legacy of Kain series possibly discontinued all the characters need a place to live. That's about 50 in total if not more. What happens when you have that many creatures etc. living in a three story house with rules and human host's? I do not own LOK but the Kramers are mine R&R Chapter 5!
1. Chapter 1:Rules

**House of Legacy of Kain**

 **(I don't currently have any ideas for "Behind the scenes LOK." Therefore, I'm starting on a new fanfic that gives me more to work with. This first chapter is basically a greeting and rules/regulations for everyone staying there; think of it as a residence hall policy but for vampires, sorcerers, humans etc. R &R)**

 **Welcome to Kramer House Characters of Legacy of Kain!**

" **We serve eternally just for you."**

 **We are Jack and Louise Kramer and we look forward to having you stay with us for centuries to come. We hope to give you the best of service and most pleasant stay.**

 **As happy as we are to welcome you to our home there are some rules that** **everyone** **must abide by.**

 **Rules**

 **No fighting in the house!**

As new residents of Kramer house everyone is expected to act civilized and have respect for each other. The house is not a battleground or a place to absolve your anger against a personal foe(s). If there are any disagreements with your neighbor or someone that is staying on the same floor as you please see either me, or Mrs. Kramer so this may be resolved as soon as possible. Otherwise as grown men and women there shouldn't be any issues in this criteria.

 **If any fighting occurs within Kramer house, there will be consequences. You may be asked to move out of your room, and possibly Kramer house altogether.**

While we are on the subject there are also requirements for your rooms.

 **Room maintenance**

For many generations the Kramer family has kept this house in outstanding condition. We only ask that you do the same.

Please keep your rooms clean, and throw away all garbage. And please do not keep any stale food or drinks (blood including) in your rooms. As this can attract flies, rats, etc.

 **Do not make us do room checks! If there begins to be a problem with pests in the house all food/drinks will be banned in your rooms!**

 **While half of you don't require sleep others do appreciate the peace.**

Please be courteous of the ones living besides, and across from you. While your rooms are indeed a place for your privacy and serenity there are not soundproof walls anywhere in the house.

All loud music must be off by 10 p.m.

Please use your inside voices after 11 p.m.

There are no times as to when you should have your lights on/off by; or bed times. You are not children; that is all on you!

 **Bathrooms:** You are all required to take out your own trash. And if you bathe please try not to use all the hot water. Every floor has four water heaters; please be considerate and don't waste/overuse the hot water.

 **Rules for Kitchen, Gym, Pool:**

 **CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF! WE DO NOT HAVE MAIDS. AND MRS. KRAMER AND I ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS! CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES!**

Please respect the equipment and tools in these areas.

 **Special note** : As we know many of you have a different diet. Once every two weeks a trip will be made to the market in order to purchase or acquire your necessities.

 **ALL VAMPIRES: DO NOT BRING DEAD CORPSES IN THE HOUSE! THAT'S WHY YOU DO NOT HAVE CURFEWS! WE WILL ASK YOU TO LEAVE IF A DECEASED BODY IS FOUND!**

 **NO PROSTITUTES IN KRAMER HOUSE! Same rule applies. We will ask you to leave!**

 **Rules for Training room:**

Fighting/sparring is of course allowed in the training rooms. However, any brawls you had in the training room must stay in the training room! And remember if any blood, sweat, etc. is spilt in the training room please clean up after yourselves!

 **Rules for the library**

Absolutely no food in the library! If I see or find wrappers of any kind I will find you, and make you clean the whole library by hand! There are at least 35 sections and each section has at least 1,000 books in it. Unless you have a lot of free time on your hands do not bring food in the library!

 **Maintenance**

 **If there are any leaks, cracks, or issues within anywhere of the Kramer residence please let either Mrs. Kramer or I know so this may be taken care of as soon as possible. Please do not try to fix it yourself; unless you know what you are doing!** **We are trying to preserve Kramer house.**

As these rules may be over-whelming for you please understand that there are many of us living together in the same house. In order to make this a pleasant stay for you and I rules must be made to obtain order and peace. I only hope that over time we can all be civil and live together in a way that makes us family.

If there are any questions or concerns, please speak to either me or Mrs. Kramer. Otherwise contact us by phone.

Kramer phone: 589-382-7475

We look forward to having you stay with us!

" _We serve eternally just for you."_

Thank you for your cooperation

Sincerely, Jack Kramer (Host)

Louise Kramer (Hostess)


	2. Adjust

**Chapter 2**

 **(Chapter 2 of House of Legacy of Kain. I do not own anything Lok, and I never…**

 **Old Destiny: Kain what're you doing?!**

 **Kain: Hacking your computer! What could you possibly gain from making me The Kain follow rules! This fanfic is blasphemy!**

 **Old Destiny: Kain, we talked about this…**

 **Kain: No I don't believe we ever did. I don't recall you ever saying "Kain you're going to be living in a house full of idiots that you all hate in my next fanfic!"**

 **Old Destiny: Kain….**

 **Kain: I mean you didn't even finish "Behind the scenes Lok!"**

 **Old Destiny: Can we talk about this later? We need to start the story.**

 **Kain: Fine just don't make me stupid in this one! Make me cruel, and imposing… y'know? I'd like to be a complete threat….**

 **Old Destiny: And so we continue; Chapter 2 everyone. Enjoy.**

 **Kain: Or don't.**

 **Old Destiny: Stop.**

 **Kain: Make me.**

 **Adjust**

 _(Where do we start? Let's begin in Vorador's mansion or his council room to be more specific. The one where he has a portrait of his favorite bride hanging over the fireplace? Many depressed faces filled the room, as did angry ones. In this case every character from the Legacy of Kain series sat in the counsel room with the host Vorador himself._

 _From King Ottmar to Zephon, from the Seer to Anacrothe. You name it; everyone was there._

 _Why you ask? It's a sad and yet cruel predicament. After Legacy of Kain Defiance made its debut everyone had celebrated the games success, and were just overjoyed by the fact that there had been a new game at all. Even long after Defiance's production the retro game characters had lived pretty decent lives. That was until Nosgoth came out…._

 _The game had pulled a lot of debt as well as the lives of the original games characters. In order to cover the expenses of the canceled/discontinued game many of the Legacy of Kain characters ended up having to sell or give up their lifestyles and homes. Including Vorador's mansion._

 _This seemed like a bit much for the characters that didn't even partake a role in the new game. However, since the game was called Nosgoth in reference to the Legacy of Kain series it immediately pulled everyone down with it._

 _(Note: Not hating on anybody that liked Nosgoth. If you did all power to you.)_

"Looking down at maintenance, nobody fucks with damages we are all bone dry, and don't have the funds to pay for a serious leak or brick repairs."

Looking up from the guidelines Vorador eyed his conspirators and friends all looking as dull as ever.

"Alright everyone," he sighed heavily, "Is there anything that we have to go over a second time? Any questions about the Kramer house policy?"

Many heads shook, as did a few tired sighs.

"This is ridiculous…"

Standing a pale blue vampire with gills visible on his neck threw down the guidelines sheet for "Kramer house."

"What's the issue, Rahab?"

Vorador's brow furrowed as he looked sideways at the vampire, his head laying back on his chair. "Why are there so many rules? Surely these people know what they're getting into taking us in…."

"Once again…," a new voice joined in, Nupraptors to be more precise.

"We don't really have much of a choice at this point; of course these fine people know what they're getting into."

Nupraptor picked up the sheets carefully before raising them in the air. "Which is why they made these; just like the pillars for instance without them there would be complete utter chaos…"

"Which ended up happening anyways." Ariel crossed her arms and looked at an unamused Kain, who in return glared back.

"Ariel, we're not talking about that…" Azimuth tried to put a hand on the specters shoulder. Seeing however that her attempt was made in vain, as the hand went straight through the spirit, the sorceress only looked meaningfully at the former balance guardian.

"Anyways," Sebastian began in attempt to break the growing tension. "What Nupraptor is trying to say is that even if this isn't something we all agree on it would all be in our best interest if we cooperate with these said "fine" people."

"Exactly, well said, vampire." Sebastian sat back down in his chair only to have an angry Malek stand up.

"I don't like the sound of any of this!"

Everyone sighed hearing the paladin complain. "What don't you like, Malek?" The Hylden Lord asked tiredly.

To be honest nobody was enjoying their stay at Vorador's; even if it was the very last time they would probably set foot in the mansion. Everyone just wanted to be done with the meeting and start packing for their new lives at Kramer house.

"I find it ridiculous that we all…" the conflict guardian motioned to every character currently in the room, "must expose ourselves to this new lifestyle! We aren't as difficult as the Kramer's are making it seem; the very idea of them giving us these rules is an insult to us as living beings!"

"Aye." A few heads nodded in alliance to Malek's outburst.

"These guidelines insult me as a man of great honor, and is a disgrace to all of our nature! This couple says at the end of all this they hope we can all be family!"

The paladin scoffed at the thought as he continued. "If they wish for us to be family why not take us as we are!? Instead of having us bend to their will…"

"And that is why we have these… rules." Standing up as he spoke ,Kain frowned at Malek.

Kain hadn't said much throughout the meeting. Not to say he agreed with all the rules and restrictions that the charitable family had laid upon them, but he didn't oppose them either. Not when he had seen the proof; in this case Malek throwing a fit like a teenage boy not being able to get laid by a pretty girl.

"Malek, you angry fool as usual you fail to tie the ends given to you."

Crossing his arms Kain continued. "I'm not too enthusiastic about these terms either, but…" The vampire lord scanned the room making sure everyone was listening or at least paying attention.

"If we want to make ends meet we're all going to have to submit."

The room started to buzz after that.

"You have to be joking!"

"That doesn't sound right coming out of your mouth sire."

"You? Submit? HA!"

"Not even Janos can accomplish that!"

"SILENCE!" Kain wielded his reaver impatiently putting an end to the insults as fast as they had started.

"Do you take me as a fool?! I'm fully aware of what these humans are placing on us! But all they ask is that we abide by their agreement, and in return we will have their approval!"

Kain scanned the room eyeing everyone. Just daring someone to challenge his argument.

"This couldn't be any simpler. The opportunity is waiting for us, and your complaining."

A few heads lowered as the scion of Balance spoke.

"We have little choice in the matter; we're lucky somebody wanted to take our lunatic asses in. I will not allow us to be tossed out for your childish beliefs."

"With that being said," Kain overlooked everyone in the counsel room. "Whomever still has an issue with these guidelines leave at once; otherwise everyone shut your babbling mouths!"

"Well said, Kain." Mortanius nodded in approval at his undead son. "That just about sums it up don't you think?"

"For now..." Kain sat in his chair once more, across from Vorador. He couldn't help but notice Malek sit down grudgingly; knowing that Kain had beaten his call for "reason."

Everyone had settled down and began to converse among themselves. It almost felt as if some sort of peace had begun to rest around them. For the most part it had seemed many were excited to be moving into a home where shelter, warmth, and solitude was provided.

"When are we going to be moving in, Kain?" Raziel stood next to the vampire lord anticipating an answer.

"Most likely the day after tomorrow. I've already spoken with Mr. Kramer; he's a decent man, as is his wife. However, she's a frail woman, and doesn't need any more problems."

Raziel sighed. "Well hopefully today will be the end of that…"

Within a few minutes the series characters had begun to clear out of the counsel room for the last time. Eventually leaving Vorador by himself; while everyone was at home packing the essentials they would have to take with them.

"Well, Drienna it's just you and me…" The father of vampires sighed sadly while looking at the portrait of his deceased love before leaving the counsel room to start packing for moving day. All the hard work he had put into this mansion was being sold at a price that would make Drienna turn in her grave.

'So many good memories; coming to an end…'

 **(That's chapter 2 folks. A little sad for the Legacy of Kain characters, but hopefully it'll all work out for the best.**

 **Kain: I sure hope so for your sake.**

 **Old destiny: Look I think I gave you a pretty decent part.**

 **Kain: I guess; although I much would have preferred to cut off Malek's head; he always was a sore loser.**

 **Old Destiny: Maybe some other time, Kain. Anyways thanks for the patience and all views everyone. R &R!)**


	3. Move in Day

**Chapter 3**

 **Move in Day**

 **I do not own any Lok material, but the Kramer's, and Kramer house is mine. Thank you for all or any views, and much thanks for the fav's ^^**

 **Hylden Lord: You know you don't actually have to put those squinty eye things in.**

 **Old Destiny: True, but I kinda wanted to.**

 **Hylden Lord: Well that's so out of character for you…**

 **Old Destiny: But it's normal considering that I want to show some sort of gratitude.**

 **Hylden Lord: I'm not going to even say anything to that because it sounds like complete bull.**

 **Old Destiny: Sigh…. Enjoy the next chapter everyone.**

 **Hylden Lord: Or don't.**

 **Old Destiny: You sound like Kain.**

 **Hylden Lord: You are officially dead to me.**

 **Move in Day**

 **As early as the first rooster crow many of the Legacy of Kain characters had met up in front of "Kramer house." From far distance it didn't look like much, but walking closer they could all see that though it was simple it was also elegant. There were trimmed bushes outside, as well as a fairly large fountain that hadn't yet turned on given the early of the morning.**

 **The house was made of grey stone, but was very smooth and had an ancient look about it that made Kramer house all the more pleasant to look at. There were some cherubs on the roof tops, and stone lions sat at the front porch entrance. Kramer house was made into three wings; all pointing towards different directions. North, west, and east. There were three floors, and according to Jack Kramer there were at least sixty rooms within the house; not counting the bathrooms and sitting areas.**

 **According to the Kramer's their home was practically a family heirloom on one hundred and seventeen acres of land. Passed down from one Kramer to the other for nearly two hundred years. Usually one would hear that the first born would receive the blessing of the home. But the way Kramer's carried out the task was more thorough. Usually the most patient, and kindest of the family would receive the house as for moments like these. Not only would that blessed Kramer be responsible for maintaining the house, but also be willing to care and serve others before themselves.**

A few of the characters stood outside in awe at their new home. "I can't believe they're letting us stay here." Ariel breathed softly looking at the quiet home with fascination.

"It's like a second chance at life…"

"Marcus, are you crying?" Anacrothe turned to look at the psychic vampire.

He dabbed at his eyes with his jacket before turning to the states guardian. "No, no it's just a small cold that I've been getting as of late. Don't mind me." Marcus turned away quickly before meeting eyes with Anacrothe again.

"Oh Lord, let's get this over with." Kain sighed before ringing a doorbell that rang throughout the house. Within a couple of minutes, the front porch lights flickered on, and hearing the front door click it opened revealing a tall man wearing a blue robe and house slippers.

His hair was a peppery black and looked a bit ruffled; due to having been awakened. Dark circles bordered the man's brown eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. His skin was fair and had a light tan to it. Regardless of his current state he appeared to be in his prime. This was Mr. Kramer. A natural when it came to business, husband of Louise Kramer, and a respectful host.

"Good morning Mr. Kramer, I am Kain and as you already know behind me are my associates." Kain looked back at everyone who had come that morning. There were quite a few characters present; though a few of them looked half dead considering how early it was.

"Good morning, Kain I wasn't expecting all of you for at least another hour." Mr. Kramer looked at all the characters present on his front yard. "But, there's no harm in arriving early; please come make yourselves at home." Smiling the host opened both doors of the entrance and allowed everyone to come in.

The Legacy of Kain characters made their way into the house looking at their surroundings. The inside was as luxurious as the outside. The floors were hard wood, and antique furniture filled the living areas. Beautiful wood craftsmanship made up the walls, and a large lit fireplace practically made the whole downstairs glow.

"She's a real beauty, this house of yours, Kramer." Vorador looked back at the host with satisfaction drawn on his face. "Now I've seen mortal homes, but this one is neck at neck with my mansion."

"I'm pleased to hear you say so, please Vorador have a seat."

Mr. Kramer motioned towards a large armchair while turning on some more lights in the living room. By this time all the characters that had come that morning were still surveying their surroundings while either carrying or dragging their belongings with them. The ones that had the most luggage was, Azimuth, and Dejoule; technically speaking the girly ladies.

"Are you fucking serious, Az?" An out of breath Mortanius glared at the Dimension guardian while carrying her numerous bags and suitcases. Behind him Anacrothe, Bane, and Zephon had been given the same duty but with Dejoule's luggage.

"I mean you don't wear all that much clothes! What could you possibly have in here?!"

Azimuth turned to face the necromancer while holding a small white dog wearing a crown.

"Oh Morty, that's why you could never get a lover. Every woman needs what is important to her. It's not just clothes, but the artifacts that make her what she is."

"Look spare my soul the feminist speech, and let me put these damn things down already!"

Mortanius' legs began to shake due to all the weight in his arms. Why couldn't women pack like men? He had done himself a huge favor and just packed what belongings he did own and want in one suitcase. Many of the other men had done the same thing. Either wearing a bag pack or carrying a suitcase or two.

Fortunately, or unfortunately Nupraptor was carrying Ariel's few sensible bags, while Umah was carrying some of her own. The Seer only had one light green shoulder bag full of her personal belongings. However, the same could not be said about Dejoule. As earlier we had said that Anacrothe, Bane, and Zephon had been charged with carrying her dozens of bags into the Kramer home.

"This is ridiculous…" A pissed Bane fumed looking around at everyone else who was either sitting down and enjoying themselves or talking to friends.

"Tell me about it," Zephon frowned with a tarantula wearing what appeared to be socks on its legs, on his head. "Some of this stuff doesn't even look legal."

"Don't tell me you looked through her bags, Zeph."

Anacrothe stared at Zephon with a look of concern. "She doesn't like it when people go through her stuff."

"I'm just trying to make out some of the forms that are sticking up…." Zephon looked up at the large spider on his head. "We don't wanna see her granny panties. Right Susan?"

The two guardians snickered. "Dejoule can be a little moody; it would do her justice to wear granny panties."

As everyone mingled among themselves Mr. and Mrs. Kramer made their way down the stairs to give everyone a proper welcome.

Mr. Kramer was now dressed in a white buttoned down long sleeve shirt, and black slacks with black leather shoes. His hair was now combed, and he looked more awake and energetic.

Mrs. Kramer was average height and wore a light blue dress with long ruffled sleeves. She had curly brown hair that was long and framed her face perfectly. Her eyes were a deep blue, as for her lips they were thin and ashen. As Kain had mentioned before to Raziel, Mrs. Kramer was a sickly woman. Her health was always on edge; therefore, she usually appeared malnourished and pale.

Together however, the Kramer's looked to be a fine couple that held strong values. They both stopped a few steps before coming to the end of the stairs.

"Good morning everyone…"

"GOOD MORNING!" Everyone turned to look at Dumah who was waving and smiling. Noticing that everyone was looking at him he stopped.

"What? I was just trying to be nice."

Mr. Kramer looked at a flushed Kain who shook his head and motioned him to keep going.

"Good morning, Dumah… As you might have already known I am Jack Kramer. You may refer to me as Jack or just Mr. Kramer."

He motioned to his wife beside him.

"This is Mrs. Kramer. You may call her Louise or Mrs. Kramer as well. As of right now we welcome you to Kramer house. We are well informed about your situation, and we only hope that we didn't over whelm you with our rules here."

A few grunts were heard here and there before Mrs. Kramer spoke up.

"But please understand we don't mean to degrade you in any way. We are only aware that you all are not merely average people. You are all of different species, and we only want to make sure your stay here is a pleasant one."

A few heads nodded, and any frustration that had lingered before had disappeared.

"We're all going to live together now, and as time passes I truly hope that we can all get to know each other as friends and family. So Mr. Kramer and I apologize if there were any misplaced feelings or anger about the guidelines."

Mrs. Kramer clasped her hands and looked at the Legacy of Kain characters. Everyone appeared calm; even Malek who was usually out to get someone was calm.

"I hope there are no hard feelings everyone." Mr. Kramer said apologetically while rubbing the back of his neck.

"You are forgiven!" Faustus smirked while stroking his black cat, Dominance in his arms.

Everyone either smiled or nodded in understanding. No hard feelings were placed, and any that was there had been pushed to the side.

The Kramer's breathed a sigh of relief before coming all the way down stairs.

"Now since that's out of the way how about Mrs. Kramer and I get you checked into your rooms?" The host pulled out a large brown book and pen from an oak desk.

Opening it the book revealed pages filled with lines of names, floors, and room numbers.

"Alright who's first?" Mrs. Kramer made coffee and breakfast for everyone as Mr. Kramer handed everyone a paper with their name and room number on it.

"Turel?"

"Sebastian?"

"Elzevir?"

"Bane?"

"Magnus…?"

Mr. Kramer stopped as he saw a mutilated vampire wearing torn shorts walk up for his room number; holding a large chameleon.

"Uh… you didn't happen to have a pet policy did you?" Magnus smiled nervously while holding the blinking reptile that moved its eyes in several directions.

"No of course not; just…" Mr. Kramer looked towards the kitchen where his wife was in the kitchen with some of the other women; already making conversation and laughing.

In a hushed tone Mr. Kramer continued. "Just make sure you keep…uh?"

"Oh, his name is Bob." Magnus looked down at his best pal before petting him gently.

"Yes, please keep, Bob in your room. I'd hate for Louise to see him and freak out."

"Sure, Jack I understand." The vampire took his room number from the host before making his way to up the stairs.

"Thanks, Magnus." Mr. Kramer continued to hand out room numbers until eventually everyone had gone upstairs to settle in.

Well everyone that is, except for Mortanius who had been left downstairs with Azimuth's stuff.

"Mortanius? I thought you went upstairs with everyone else?" Mr. Kramer looked in confusion at the guardian of death, who looked as pissed as the grim reaper cheated on by death itself.

"I wanted to, but Azimuth left me with all her shit, because she was going to put Fifi down for a nap!" Mortanius scoffed at the thought of putting a dog to bed.

"What a waste of time it is! I don't think that dog has ever walked more than a foot on its own without Azimuth!"

Mr. Kramer looked at the sorcerer with pity. 'Poor bastard, he's a talented necromancer and yet he's being used as a suitcase rack.'

"No offense, but you are a necromancer can't you summon skeletons to hold that stuff for you?"

Mortanius' angry expression turned sorrowful.

"I did the poor things couldn't take it anymore; they're arms fell off."

"Oh… that's a shame." Kramer shook his head with remorse just as the Dimension guardian made her way down the stairs.

"Sorry, Mortanius it took forever to get Fifi to sleep."

The death guardians eye twitched as he dropped all the bags in front of his feet.

"Hey what was that for?!" Azimuth put her hands on her hips as she glared at the Necromancer. "There was fragile stuff in there!"

"Does it look like I care?!" Mortanius shouted while kicking his own suitcase in the process. "I've been waiting for two hours, and you never showed up! My skeletons lost their arms because of your stupid dog!"

The death guardian summoned a dismembered skeleton arm only to shove it in Azimuth's face; who flinched in the process with every motion the skeletal arm made.

"I had to tell my skeletons I'm sorry! I had to tell them that daddy didn't mean for them to hurt and ache and cry!"

Azimuth raised an eyebrow.

"They're already dead, Mortanius…"

"NO YOU ARE!" The necromancer pointed a dismembered skeletal finger in Azimuth's face before grabbing his suitcase and stomping upstairs to his room.

Azimuth watched Mortanius disappear into the upstairs hallway before hearing a door slam shut. Looking down thoughtfully she looked at all of her bags that had been dropped on the floor. She rubbed her bald head before looking at Mr. Kramer.

"Do you think he was upset that I brought too much?"

Mr. Kramer turned red before answering. "I don't think that was the problem, Azimuth. But I wouldn't mind helping you take these upstairs."

As Mr. Kramer picked up a few of the bags, and noticed that Azimuth didn't even pick up one, a few thoughts came in his head. The main one however was more than a mere thought. It came up as more of a fact.

'Louise and I are going to have one interesting remainder of our lives.'

 **(What'd you think? And that's just the first few hours in the Kramer house. I hope you guys enjoyed chapter 3, and thank you for all your patience…**

 **Malek: Why are you thanking everyone for their patience?**

 **Old Destiny: Because as I have told the Hylden Lord it's only the polite and grateful thing to do.**

 **Malek: Yeah sure, if anyone was reading this story!**

 **Old Destiny: Malek, don't be so negative…**

 **Malek: Well excuse me for being honest! I only say it as it is sister! I didn't get this bad ass being nice!**

 **Old Destiny: That doesn't explain your hotheadedness.**

 **Malek: That's not even a word!**

 **Old Destiny: Sigh Please read and don't forget to review everyone. So Malek can shut up before he puts this whole story in jeopardy.**

 **Malek: Yeah screw you too lady.**


	4. Dominance

**Chapter 4**

 **Dominance**

 **(Hey everyone welcome to chapter 4 of "House of Legacy of Kain." Thank you for patience and any views. As of now in this chapter we're going to start calling Mr. and Mrs. Kramer by their first names. Which is Jack, and Louise. Please R &R)**

 **Zephon: What's up lok fans?! I am the almighty and handsome Zephon here to greet and guide you in this story. Old Destiny will not be joining us today, but I'm sure that won't be an issue considering that there's plenty of Zephon to go around, and entertain you.**

 **(Zephon takes out a hand drawn poster reading "Legacy of Zephon" made of crayon and tapes it on a wall.)**

 **Please read and comment on the amazing story of "House of Legacy of Zephon!" Which sounds way cooler than "Legacy of Kain" by the way. I mean as a leading character I don't think I would've gone through all that many bodily changes. Kain's gone through more make-overs than Michael Jackson.**

 **Kain: You know I'm standing right here…**

 **Zephon: That you are, and in this case I guess I better "Beat it!"**

 **Kain: I seriously wish real comedians like Jim Carrey would just come and kick your stupid ass.**

 **Zephon: (spitting in Kain's face while laughing) HA HAAA! Enjoy everyone!**

 **Dominance**

 **It was still morning and "move in day." Everyone by this time however, had been moved into their rooms and had gotten comfortable. Some legacy of Kain characters were mingling among themselves and walking room to room visiting their friends. Others had decided to see some of the activity rooms like the gym, and pool room. Yes, it was a calm morning indeed…**

"Come on, Moebius get out of the fucking shower already!"

Janos banged on the door effortlessly before turning to Ottmar and The builder. (A Hylden from Blood Omen 2)

"How long has he been in there?"

"For nearly an hour!"

"Ya, know Janos you're vampire why do you even have to go into the bathroom?" The Builder looked in curiosity to the ancient.

"I'd at least like to freshen up! Ariel and Nupraptor are sharing the one down the hall, and lord knows how long that will take! And Vorador's hogging up the other one."

"Hey old man! Get out of there!" The builder banged on the bathroom door roughly.

"Hey, can you hear me! Get out here before I rip your balls off!"

Ottmar cringed before grabbing the Builder by his shoulder. "You should probably stop son; you're going to break the door…"

"Do you think he's even alive?" Janos' looked at the bathroom door with concern.

All three men looked at each other.

"One of us should just go inside and check on, Moebius."

Janos looked at both Ottmar and Builder. "But which one?"

"Let's do rock, paper, scissors for it. The loser turns blind."

"Ready?" Janos, Ottmar, and the Builder played against each other with Janos being the loser in the end. While playing they failed to see Moebius walk out of the bathroom in a towel, and the Seer walk in past them.

"Okay, Janos you lost so you gotta go inside and check on that ugly bitch." Builder pushed Janos toward the door while Ottmar said a quick prayer.

"God speed to you, brother."

The tenth guardian stared at the door nervously before opening and closing it behind him. Ottmar and Builder stood outside waiting patiently for him to return when a woman's scream was heard from inside.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!?"

"I'M SORRY SEER!"

"GET OUT YOU PERVERT!"

"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!"

"STOP LOOKING AT ME!"

Janos came out of the bathroom quickly looking very red. "That was not, Moebius."

Builder and Ottmar shook their heads while frowning at the ancient.

"What the hell are you looking at me like that for?"

"You just saw a woman naked, Janos."

He stared at Ottmar in disbelief. "It wasn't intentional; it was an accident!"

"Riiiight, and Seer said stop looking at me out of habit?"

"Shame, Janos."

"Screw you both!" Janos walked away from Ottmar and Builder to check the other bathrooms.

(Stairs)

"Are you sure about this, Dumah?"

"Yeah, this game hardly seems safe." Marcus and Melchiah looked at each other in concern.

Dumah was currently duct taping a card board box together at the top of the stairs. "Don't worry about it guys this is harmless fun…."

"But what happens if the box tips?" Marcus crossed his arms watching Dumah put more tape on one of the box corners.

"Then you'll just flip out and tumble down the stairs." He stood up smiling at his good work.

"Surely that sounds like fun?"

Melchiah looked at the staircase they were planning to slide on in a card board box. "I guess, but the stairs go down a long way… if we fall out that's going to hurt."

"Yes I don't feel like bashing my brains out today." Marcus rubbed his scalp as if a piece of flesh was missing already.

All three vampires looked down the staircase as if reconsidering, and just bagging up the idea.

"Aw Fuck it."

Marcus and Melchiah got into the cardboard box and prepared to slide down the staircase. With Melchiah in front and Marcus behind him, Dumah prepared to push his friends down the stairs.

"Alright, ready when you are."

Melchiah and Marcus leaned forward towards the stairs and readied themselves. "Ready…"

"CHARGE!" Marcus gave the order and Dumah pushed the box with the two vampires in it. It didn't even get a third of the way without tipping forward and having two bald men fall and roll down the stairs cursing.

"FUCK A MONKEYS ASS!" Marcus growled as Melchiah landed on him.

"I thought you said this was safe!"

Melchiah got up and dusted himself off looking up at his older brother at the top of the stairs.

"Hey I never promised that! I just said it would be fun!"

Faustus just happened to walk by Dumah during that time, still petting his cat in peace.

"What're you guys doing?"

Faustus looked down the stairs to see Marcus and Melchiah arguing.

"It wasn't my fault it tipped; it's a box what'd you expect?"

"It's your fault because you moved forward too much!"

"That's not true and you know it!"

Faustus sighed before turning to Dumah. "This may take a while would you like to get something to eat?"

"Sure, I hear there's a…. HEY!"

Faustus turned to see Marcus and Melchiah fighting each other and calling one another names.

"BALD ASS!"

"SALEMS A-HOLE!"

"RAZIEL'S BITCH!"

"SEBASTIANS HOE!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THAT!"

Dumah tried to get the two to pay attention to him, and stop fighting but it was no use; until he got an idea.

"Faustus what's your cat's name?"

Faustus raised his cat in the air while smiling at it. "Dominance, would you like to pet her?"

Not answering Dumah grabbed Dominance from her owner and threw it at the two fighting vampires downstairs.

"DOMINANCE I CHOOSE YOU!"

The cat flew wildly and caught Marcus in the head with her claws out, knocking him over surprised in the process.

"Oh sweet Jesus… Melchiah what's on my head?"

"Now stay calm, Marcus… it's just a cat." Melchiah spoke softly to the other bald vampire; noticing he was starting to panic.

"Are its claws stuck in my head?"

"It would appear so yes…"

Marcus' eyes widened in fear. "Get it off, please… just get it…. off."

"What the hell was that!?" Faustus was yelling at Dumah at this point for throwing his beloved pet at his now panicking brother.

"Hey Tinker bell take a chill pill…"

"Take a chill pill? You just threw my cat at Marcus!"

Dumah shrugged. "She's still alive isn't she?"

"Yes, but you won't be!" Faustus hissed at Dumah before getting snatched up by the brute vampire by the neck.

"What'd you just say you punk?" Dumah was face to face with Faustus.

"You heard me dumbbell." Faustus choked.

Melchiah was approaching Marcus calmly as to not scare the freaked out cat still attached to his head.

"Come on, Dominance… come to Mel. Everything is going to be fine."

The cat's eyes widened as the bald vampire placed his hands on it, and gently removed his paws. Marcus began to shiver in the process. "Marc, if you care anything about your scalp you won't make a move."

He obeyed, for his own benefit, and allowed Melchiah to work his magic. Finally, after what seemed like forever the cat came off of Marcus' head.

"See, now that wasn't so bad now was it?" Melchiah cooed to the black feline laying lazily in his arms.

Breathing a sigh of relief Marcus walked up to Melchiah and patted his back. "Thanks old chap, I would've been mincemeat had it not been for you."

"Of course, shit I don't have any hair either."

Marcus looked closely at the cat in Melchiah's arms. "You know I don't usually like cat's but this one doesn't seem too…"

Just as he was saying that Dominance jumped on Marcus' face and began to tear him to shreds while making wild noises.

"OH SHIT HELP ME!"

"JUST DON'T PANIC!"

DON'T PANIC MY ASS GET THIS BITCH OFF!

As Marcus ran around with a cat on his face Faustus came flying through the air and hit a table in the process; as Dumah had also thrown him from the top of the stairs.

One way or another many other characters got involved as they had come downstairs to see what was causing all the commotion.

Ariel, Mortanius, and Raziel tried to get the cat off of Marcus. Meanwhile Vorador, The Hylden lord, and Jack tried to calm down Dumah.

Louise, Sebastian, and Seer were taking care of the unconscious Faustus, and Kain was picking up the pieces of broken table that littered the floor from his fall.

"Ariel, stop spraying the cat with water!" Raziel looked at the former balance guardian angrily as he desperately tried to declaw the cat from Marcus whose screaming was muffled from under the cat's fur.

The specter kept spraying the pissed feline as she spoke. "I don't understand I thought cat's hated water!?"

"Yes as do vampires!" Mortanius grabbed a handkerchief from his red robes and began to dab at Marcus' burning skin.

While everyone was running around trying to take care of occurring issues Ottmar and his daughter sat back on the sofas watching the drama.

"Daddy, why is everyone running around?"

Ottmar sighed before looking at his daughter. (Couldn't find what her name was; sorry.)

"Because honey, those are called idiots. They're energized creatures with little to do, but run around."

Things didn't seem to look like they were getting anymore better. Magnus threw a ham sandwich at Malek, and as you can imagine that set him off. Somebody threw Susan at a wall, leaving Zephon in tears, and Azimuth hit Mortanius in the head with a pan. She claimed she was trying to help get the cat off of Marcus, but her sanity is questionable.

Kain and the Hylden Lord ended up falling on the floor punching the shit out of each other. Apparently Hylden Lord "accidentally" hit Kain in the back of the head with a wooden table leg. Besides trying to remain rational Kain had finally lost it and just took out his frustrations on his worst enemy.

Elzevir pulled down Janos' pants for kicking him out of the bathroom during his much needed potty break. And lastly but not the only thing happening Turel, Builder, and Anacrothe hung Moebius by the underwear on a ceiling fan blade, and decided to turn it on.

A lot of things were happening at the same time, and nobody could really explain how it all happened in the first place. The average person would get a kick out of it, and possibly take pictures with their I-phone, but at the end of the day a lot of explaining would have to be made, and none of it would be easy.

 **(Sebastian: So there you have it everyone, chapter 4. Unfortunately, everyone is busy at the moment and no one else was able to bring this to an end. So technically speaking a lot of shit is happening, and I don't think it's going to stop. Please read and review this fanfic and we'll see you again soon. Peace.)**


	5. Home Sweet Home

**Chapter 4**

 **Home Sweet Home**

 **Magnus, Kain's most loyal and powerful warrior walks into a spotlight wearing an army helmet, and has a turkey sub in one hand, and a sword in the other.**

 **Magnus: Hello champion viewers it is I, Magnus MacDaddy, and the vampire next to Vorador who's going to kick the shit out of, Malek!**

 **Vorador comes out to join Magnus, and wraps an arm around his shoulder.**

 **Vorador: That's right mortal's today's chapter is about sticking Malek in the ass with this long pointy sword; just like he enjoyed destroying my brides!**

 **Bane: Guys! Stop screwing around with the intro!**

 **Magnus: Beat it, Nature boy! War is big man business, something a weak little Bambi like yourself would never understand!**

 **Bane: Hey Magnus why don't you go do something useful like get your ass kicked by the Sarafan Lord again!**

 **Magnus runs after Bane calling him every filthy word in the book; as this is happening Vorador makes an attempt at the intro.**

 **Vorador: Anyways guys, Welcome to chapter 4 of "House of Legacy of Kain." It's been a long time; too long if anything. But…(glares at Old Destiny from a distance) That wasn't up to me. Thanks for your patience and views everyone.**

(When we last left the Kramer house everything was in complete utter chaos. Characters were beating the crap out of each other, furniture was being broken, and household appliances were being used as torture devices.)

The living room of the Kramer house was a huge mess. Splintered wood lay all over red and brown rugs, the walls had a few holes here and there; not to mention some sort of green and brown gunk that had long since dried. (R.I.P Susan)

Tables were overturned, kitchen pans lay on the floor and torn purple robes hung from the ceiling fan. The curtains that had once draped over the windows were claw shredded, there were pieces of ham on the sofa, and for some odd reason a pair of tidy whities were in the fireplace ashes; as if waiting to be burned in the next morning heating.

Crossing into the dining room there was a long table where almost all the Legacy of Kain characters sat. Some were standing, and looking a bit anxious. They all knew that fighting was forbidden within the Kramer house, and yet they had proceeded to fight anyways. All too well the game characters knew this act of reckless behavior would not go unpunished.

Sure what could a couple of puny humans do to a bunch of supernatural humanoids? At the end of the day the result was the same, they could all be kicked out and be forced to live in the street. Considering Eidos wasn't exactly funding for the Lok cast anymore they would most likely have to start making a living on producing "Diet commercials" or worse start working at "McDonalds." Whatever worse fate lay for the retro characters the cast was determined not to meet it.

"Alright, obviously you guys didn't understand what the rules implied when it came to no fighting in the house."

Jack was standing at the very front of the table with his arms crossed, and his long sleeves folded up to his elbows. He looked exhausted, and the cast had only been there for no more than five hours

"No it's not that, Jack it's just…"

"Save it, Turel." Jack raised a hand to silence the vampire in his attempt to explain himself. "I'm not feeling very agreeable right now, and quite frankly neither did Louise."

"Where is Louise anyway?" Janos turned his gaze out towards the destroyed living room as if he expected to see the hostess lingering there.

"Upstairs resting; she wasn't feeling up to this conversation."

Sighing, Jack messaged his temples before proceeding with his lecture.

"Alright listen closely. And I'm going to tell you once, and only once; from my own mouth."

Everyone looked at him nervously; waiting for the worst.

"No fighting in the house. None."

Jack looked at the nervous game characters; his face showing no remorse. Then again how could he? Every one of them took a part in destroying some piece of the Kramer house. Even if it was just the living room; if Jack didn't stop it now who knew what room would be destroyed next.

"I mean it guys, no fighting. That's what outside is for; hell that's what the training room was for!"

"Well no, Jack," everyone turned their heads to look at the outspoken, Marcus. "Have you not played our games? Surely you know what we're capable of, and that living room is just an understatement. We could destroy this whole house within an hour…"

"Precisely, which is why I am giving one final warning before I start kicking any one out." Jack looked at Marcus with aggravation as the bald vampire sat back down slowly; now fully aware of his status in the Kramer house.

Sighing Jack continued with the lecture. "As I was saying; Louise and I are going to let this slide, and excuse your behavior. This is new for everyone, and new to us as well. With that being said…"

Mr. Kramer looked at everyone's nervous faces, and lastly at Anacrothe chewing on his nails.

"We are going to forget about what happened today, and move on. You're all a lively, strange bunch. But enjoyable nonetheless."

Everyone started to chatter, and get up from their seats, relieved from not being thrown out into the streets; that is until Jack cleared his throat.

"Excuse me; one last thing."

All eyes landed on Kramer. "We are not your parents, and since you all did make a mess…"

"Oh man." The bishop of Meridian kicked the carpet with a slipper foot.

"That's right, and you can find the cleaning supplies in the double door closet in the kitchen." Jack Kramer pointed as he made his way out of the dining room entrance.

"This is all your fault!" Dumah pointed at Melchiah.

"Me?! All I did was go down a flight of stairs in a damn box! You threw Faustus' cat!"

Before Dumah could go after Faustus, King Ottmar intervened.

"Gentlemen, I do believe we're in enough trouble as it is, and I'd hate to see what else old Kramer has for us."

Looking at one another the vampires agreed reluctantly, and began to make their way to the living room with everyone else.

Everyone was doing their fair share of cleaning, and repairing; with some small talk, here and there.

"Does anyone know how to sew?" De joule held a pair of torn burgundy curtains.

"You could ask, Seer. She's lived in the back woods long enough." Sebastian snickered.

"I heard that!" Seer snapped as she took the curtains from De joule and sat at one of the sofas to begin sewing. "Men…"

Upstairs in the Kramer's master bedroom sat a tired Jack, and laying down next to him on their bed a very pale Louise. They appeared to be distressed over something, Mr. Kramer even more so.

"You look very pale, Louise. Are you sure you don't need a doctor?"

Slowly Mrs. Kramer sat up and laid her head against the chestnut brown head board. Her face was a sweaty red, and her eyelids were heavy with exhaustion. Wearily she looked towards Jack, but smiled.

"Have I ever actually needed one?" Her husband smiled back sadly, but shook his head. "No, I'm afraid there really isn't any need for one is there?"

Louise smiled as she laid her head back and breathed. "Are you going to be okay with the sudden change?"

Jack shook his head. "Don't worry about me; it's you I'm worried about..."

Louise slowly took her husband's hand in her own and compared them. His flesh was a peachy nourished color; meanwhile hers was pale and the veins could be seen easily. Jack's hands were soft by appearance but rough by the touch. Healthy in comparison to her pale, bony, and cold hands. One day she wouldn't be able to feel them anymore…

"I'll be fine, Jack. They're a lively bunch, and we'll be able to stay on our feet with them around."

Sighing Mr. Kramer put his chin on his wife's head; trying to remain positive as she was right. The Legacy of Kain clan had already demolished a portion of the house, and they hadn't even been here for five hours. Yet he felt perfectly content with them around, and given the few women that were in the group, Louise would have some company.

"Yes, you're right; you'll be fine." Jack said holding his wife closely after some deep thought.

"No, Jack _we'll_ be fine." Louise kissed him once more before taking him in her arms.

 **B** ack downstairs in the living room the LOK characters were still cleaning up, and making timely progress. With Zephon was scraping Susan off the wall, Kain repairing the arm chair he smashed on the Hylden Lord, and Ariel cleaning up loose cat hair on the sofa's and rug; they would be done in no time.

Seer was still sewing the torn material on pillows, and Anacrothe was trying to help Bane in reviving the potted plants that had been destroyed in the fight.

"I don't think that plant was ever purple, Anacrothe."

Both men were sitting at a coffee table by the main window trying to return a torn plant to its original state. "Maybe not", Anacrothe started. "But I think the Kramer's will appreciate our creativity, and after all it's the thought that counts."

"That's what you said when you bought, Moebius' tomb stone on his 417th birthday." Moebius frowned at the sound of his name being said; which is usually never a good thing.

"What, Bane? He's always dying, and everyone hates him so technically I was thinking ahead."

"Ouch, that's cold..." Raziel shook his head while he held a dust pan for, Mortanius sweeping the cat hair, Ariel was lint rolling off the couch.

"But it is kind of true." Mortanius interjected receiving a death glare from Moebius.

"See, someone thinks I'm smart…" Anacrothe smirked as he looked at the now spotted purple plant.

"Woah man, I said you were right about Moebius being on everyone's hate list; not that you the dumbass of all of us was smart."

"Compared to, Moebius he is." Raziel pointed out while heading over to a trashcan, and walking right by the time streamer.

"You know I'm right here!" Moebius glanced at the ones bad mouthing him without remorse.

"Unfortunately." The Hylden Lord said as he passed by on his way to the kitchen.

"Dude you got served." Bane announced radically much to Moebius' dislike.

"Shut up, Bane."

Outside on the front porch, Faustus, Marcus, and Magnus were tending to, Dominance, Faustus' cat. Why, Marcus would even try to get close to the cat again is beyond anyone…

"She doesn't look too bad…"

"Don't worry Faustus she still looks like a marvelous feline…"

After all the commotion with Dominance and trying to remove her from, Marcus' face she'd lost quite a few patches of hair that caused her to be shaved completely, and have her master be sorrowfully horrified.

"She looks…"

Faustus couldn't finish his sentence as he was holding his bald cat on the verge of tears. "She looks…"

"She looks like a vagina on legs." Turel said walking by with a garbage bag full of broken wood, cat hair, and discarded food.

Faustus' eyes watered. "She does look like a vagina…"

"How would you know?" Magnus crossed his arms while looking at his younger brother.

"Does it matter!? My cat is ugly, and my porn life is personal!"

Marcus and Magnus looked at one another. "Dude you just admitted to watching porn…"

"Oh, shut up!" Faustus grabbed his cat and ran inside; shutting the front door behind him.

Marcus and Magnus stood there silently before, Marcus took Faustus' phone out of his back pocket.

"Wanna look through his search history?"

Smirking Magnus took the phone before going inside Kramer house. "Thought you'd never ask."

 **(King Ottmar takes the stage this time for outro. "Greetings fellow subjects! It's been too long, and I'm sure you all are on the verge of explosion waiting for this story."**

 **King Ottmar's daughter (** _ **Lets call her, Lily**_ **)" There's just been so much going on, but we really appreciate the patience."**

 **King Ottmar: "Yes if you'd like the author to continue this fanfic please give this story a review or follow.**

 **Lily: Or you could donate chicken nuggets to King Ottmar's castle, and address them to me, Lily!"**

 **Kain: Sorry little girl your daddy doesn't have a castle anymore. He sold it to loser hippies in exchange for your existence.**

 **Lily: What's he talking about, daddy?**

 **Ottmar: Nothing honey, Kain's being dumb as usual."**

 **Kain: You're adopted.**

 **Lily: (getting watery eyed) Huh?**

 **Ottmar: "DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND VIEWS EVERYONE!"**

 **This is an Old Destiny production. I do not own Legacy of Kain or Eidos. Just the Kramer's, and Dominance, and whatever else may come up in this story. Peace out and thanks again. R &R**


End file.
